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“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
We have all experienced a wounded heart! Some have experienced those wounds to the point of feeling as though your heart is so scarred from the wounds you don’t know if you can or will ever “feel” anything again! I understand your pain, I have been there but more importantly so has Jesus and there is HOPE!
God wants desperately to heal your hurts even more than you would be eager to heal the hurts of a child. Isaiah 61:3 says:To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. God is glorified in your healing and He is also glorified when you allow Him to help you forgive.
Forgiveness is a choice – that is right, it is you have to choose to forgive or not to forgive but according to this verse you are choosing to not be forgiven as well if you choose not to forgive. Why do you really want to hang onto unforgiveness? Is it helping you along in life? Is it somehow making you more successful? No? I didn’t think so! Forgiveness brings healing and unforgiveness brings self destruction. Families are often torn apart because someone refuses to forgive. Even poor health can be associated with some unforgiveness because the stress level that comes with hanging onto that anger and grudge takes it’s toll on your body.
I’ll say it again; Holding a grudge and choosing to not forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!
It’s time…… let it go and give it all to God. Choose to forgive – that doesn’t mean you choose to trust or even allow that person to be a part of your life, but you can choose to forgive and then ask God to begin healing your heart.
So often we want healing but we want to just hang onto that pain and anger and maybe even a bit of a grudge just a little longer because we don’t think they deserve to be forgiven. Guess what….. forgiveness is for you not them! They probably could care less if you forgive them or not, they will move on and that is between them and God, but forgiveness will set You free! It will be such a weight off your shoulders you will be amazed! It stops the hurt from continuing! It starts by making the decision to pray and tell God that you choose to forgive them and ask Him for the strength and guidance to move forward. Ask Him to heal your heart and to remove the anger.
Strange as it may seem I have had times that in order to heal I had to ask the one I thought did me wrong to forgive me if they felt that I had in any way done them wrong, even though a few years later I found out that everything they were upset about was a lie! No, to answer your question, it wasn’t easy, but the relief I felt after the whole thing was over was so freeing and the blessing of feeling God’s presence and love through it all made it all worth it. The real crazy thing about that too was that it healed the relationship – that is a God thing because they still don’t even see what they did that I chose to forgive without their asking was really wrong! Not all relationships are healed through forgiveness and sometimes that is really ok. Sometimes we are better off severing some relationships but the “severing” also begins with forgiveness. You can do this and the peace you will find on the other side will amaze you! Don’t allow unforgiveness to hold you back for even one more day!
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it? Marcus Aurelius