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“weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
Don’t allow someone else’s sin or mistakes define who you think you are!
I remember only too well that feeling of being the “stupid wife” at home who didn’t realize that her husband was having an affair. He explained how it had started out simple enough, just eating lunch together in the lunch room at work and then she started telling him about the problems she was having in her marriage. At one point he even told me that he couldn’t understand why he was so drawn to comfort her when most of the things she complained about where her husband was concerned were things that he knew he was doing wrong in our relationship! To top it all off, she looked just like me without makeup, oh yeah, but she was thinner ~ I wore size 4 and she was in a 2. (Seriously?!)
If you were abused as a child or by your spouse or your husband has cheated on you, that doesn’t make you “less than”! Have you chosen to make God the Lord of your life? Have you accepted Jesus as your savior? If you have, you are a child of the Most High God, You are royalty Girl! You are a child of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords! There’s nothing anyone can do to change that! He created you to be His Girl! He wants you to be His Princess! Judges 8:18 says, Then he said to Zebah and Zalmunna, “What manner of men were they whom you slew at Tabor?” And they answered, “As you are, so were they; each one resembled the children of a king.” Zebu and Zalmunna were the kings of Midian that Gideon was pursuing and this was their description of the Israelites they had killed at Tabor ~ they resembled children of a king. Girl, that is who you are called to be ~ royalty! Believe me, I am not making light of being cheated on or being abused! I know that pain inside and out and I know how people tend to treat you when you are the innocent party in the situation. Don’t be afraid to stand tall when you have done nothing wrong, I am not sure why people have a tendency to shun the innocent and bury the sins of the guilty, but eventually God will reveal it all and God’s judgement and discipline is worse than anything other people can do.
It doesn’t matter what you have been told or what anyone else has done, or even what you have done in your past; the only thing that matters is what Jesus has to say about who you are! Don’t allow anything or anyone else to define you! His grace covers all your sin, when you ask for His forgiveness. His strength and love will get you through to the other side of all that anyone else may say or do. You have to hold on to who He says you are! Sit up straight, hold your head high! You are enough! You are beautiful! You are made whole by His mercy and grace! He wants to wrap you in His arms of love and He wants to give you strength! He wants to overwhelm you with His love for you!
If your marriage is struggling and you know you are a big part of the cause then ask God for His forgiveness and confess to your spouse and make things right! There is no healing without confession. You do what God has told you to do to make things right and leave the results to God.
If your marriage is struggling and you aren’t the one cheating or causing the problem, I would encourage you to seek out a counselor or Life coach and if he or she won’t go, go by yourself. Pray for your spouse. Pray for God to reveal the truth about what is going on and then prepare yourself because it may not be something you really want to see, but there is no healing when there’s hidden sin. There’s no real relationship if there is infidelity, you can’t really say you love someone if you are being cared for emotionally or physically by someone outside your marriage.
God wants you to be all that He has created you to be and you can’t do that if you are weighed down thinking you are “less than” He created you to be! God’s best is found on the side of forgiving one another and holding each other accountable and it is found in who He says you are, not what others say and do! I know what it is like to cry until no more tears will come and that is when you need to ask Him and allow Him to fill you with His Joy and love knowing that the best is truly yet to come!
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent!” Eleanor Roosevelt