James 3:10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
I am amazed at the horrifying things we sometimes hear come out of the mouths of spouses to each other. Words are powerful things and once spoken they cannot be taken back and the wounds they can cause can take months or even years to heal. Speaking mean hateful things to our spouses doesn’t make us look good, it makes us look foolish!
Bill was watching a Antique Show the other night and there was a couple on the show and the man had some beautiful paintings he wanted appraised. This man’s wife was so demeaning and hateful you could see the man’s countenance fall as she embarrassed him. If she would do it on national television I can only imagine what she says to him on a daily basis. The only reason I can think of that would make someone do something like that is a lack of self esteem.
If you are struggling in this area or your spouse is it is time to figure out who you are in Christ. Our self esteem can only come from inside and that is because it comes from God and knowing who you are to Him. God created you with a purpose and He made you beautiful inside and out, you need to be sure you are in His word daily to grow in that. I would encourage you to surround yourself with godly women who can help build you up through Bible studies, lunch shopping etc. If you have a friend who struggles in this area try to help her see who she is in Christ, encourage her to work on her self esteem. Our self talk is vital to who and what we are!
If your spouse is the one who struggles with being demeaning, I would first encourage you to seek out a good friend or counselor that you can talk to that will help you keep your perspective on who you are in Christ so you don’t lose yourself while your spouse sorts this out. Encourage your spouse in who they are in Christ and to seek out counseling as well.
Our words spoken to ourselves are so important and the words we speak to those around us are important as well. You can build up or tear down with one sentence. We need to choose our words carefully! The thing that amazed me with the woman on tv as Bill was telling me the story was that she had no idea what an amazing husband she may have if she would build him up instead of tearing him down. One of his paintings he found at the yard sales was a Rembrandt! His two paintings were worth thousands of dollars and she still couldn’t give him credit for having done something right. It is so important to build our spouses up so they can become all they were created to be. If we would all work at our marriages on that level there would be a lot less divorce!
Start today and work on your self talk, if your self talk isn’t good then more than likely your speech to others won’t be great either. You can’t give what you don’t have!
“Evidence is conclusive that your self-talk has a direct bearing on your performance.” Zig Ziglar