So, How Are You Feeling About Marriage Today

by | Sep 19, 2017

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Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Yes, that says all! Not just those who are married, all! Marriage is not “just a piece of paper”, marriage is a covenant with God. I am shocked to see how infidelity has gone rampant, sometimes with both spouses choosing it together by swapping spouses with other couples! That is sick! The thought of that makes me want to vomit and if it makes me want to vomit, I can only imagine what God is feeling! Just how long do you think your marriage is going to last if you are doing that? I can guarantee you ~ not very long! Men are cheating with men and women with other women and men with women, etc., what happened to “the marriage bed being undefiled”? Whether we take this seriously or not, God still does! He hasn’t changed His mind about what is right and wrong!

If you are single, this applies to you as well. You have no business flirting with married men! You will answer to God for that just like that married man will answer for it to God as well. You can be sure your sin will be found out! If that man will cheat on his spouse with you, he will cheat on you as well, don’t think you can make him happier and I wouldn’t buy everything he says about his current wife either because if he was that great of a spouse, he wouldn’t be looking anywhere else would he? He would be working at making the marriage he has committed to work instead! Find a single, godly man who is sold out to God! Don’t settle for anything other than God’s best for you and I can guarantee you he isn’t already married! Pray for a spouse and wait on God! Work on your relationship with God so you are ready to be the wife you need to be for that godly man!

Divorce is a tough thing, much tougher than you can imagine until you have gone through it! If you are going through a divorce or have gone through a divorce, I would encourage you to go through “Divorce Care”. Search for a church near you that hosts it and take the course, you will be so glad you did! It is so helpful to be able to relate to others and to have someone walk you through the healing process, knowing you aren’t alone!

If you have cheated on your spouse, it is time to confess to your spouse as well as God and ask for forgiveness. Seek godly counsel! You can’t just think that you will just stop and it will all go away because your intensions are better today. The only way to make sure it doesn’t happen again is to get help for the reason you went there before! You both need to go to a doctor to make sure everything is ok and you haven’t brought any disease into your marriage and you both need a counselor to walk you through all the hurt, anger and now lack of trust. It is a process but one you will be glad you went through if it saves your marriage. You can’t just hide it because you know it will one day come out and then once it has been found out instead of your confessing, the odds of your working things out will be drastically reduced! Determine to make things right, determine to be who you are called to be and to make your marriage work!

Let’s face it ~ marriage is work! Marriage isn’t all about you! Once you get married, you have agreed to make your life about another person and God, you take a back seat! So often we as women think that it is all going to be so romantic and this man is going to just love us and meet our every need and then we find his underwear on the floor for the umpteenth time and we want to kill him! Men have a tendency to think that now they have someone who will cook and clean and bring him snacks and drinks while he watches football and they can have sex anytime now! And then one day, you ask what is wrong, is everything ok, you seem upset and she says, “I’M FINE!” It’s not about you! Marriage needs to be viewed as our mission to help each other be all God created us to be for Him! Your spouse needs to be treated with respect and love and there is no room in there for cheating, there is no room in there for abuse (physical or verbal ~ they are both abuse!), it is no longer just about you, it is about God and you as a couple and you need to make it your goal to protect that in a world where people have lost sight of what is right! The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence necessarily and if it appears to be it could be the “fertilizer”. Make your own marriage grow by giving it all you’ve got. If you have wronged your spouse it will take time and effort to get things to where they need to be, but with God’s help it can happen!

Marriage is a serious thing and it isn’t designed to meet your every need. If you are single, I would encourage you to work on your relationship with God, getting to know who you really are in Him! Allow Him to meet all of your emotional needs so when the time comes and He brings Mr. “Right for you” along, you will be able to be the spouse you should be. Whatever you do, don’t think that you have to be married in order to be whole! You don’t have to be married in order to feel worthy or complete. God made you beautiful to Him and He loves you! You are royalty in His eyes! You are precious and when you accepted Him as your Savior, you became complete in Him and if there is someone out there worthy of being your spouse, He will bring him to you! Wait for His best! If you are married, I would encourage you to work at it! If your spouse has chosen to head down a different path and you don’t see how you can possibly make it work, pray for him or her and seek out godly counseling for yourself! If you need help finding a Christian counselor in your area you can go to and find one on their website. Remember, God’s best will always be found in seeking Him in all you do! The best is yet to come, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now!

I know this is a bit different than our usual studies, but there must be a reason God put it on my heart this morning. I am praying for all of you!

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt (and that includes marriage or the lack of one)


  1. Anita

    Wow…you go girl! Tough words, but sooooooo God-honoring.
    And to think, Jesus says it is even more serious! That adultery begins in the “heart”…
    It is very shaky ground when we take our eyes off the Lord for even an instant! Thank you for your obedience to His leading friend!

    • Janet

      Thank you for the encouragement Anita! Some days when I feel God leading me to write things along this line, I have to really fight asking Him, “Really, can’t we talk about something more fun or less abrupt?” 🙂 It’s more fun to write something that is fun and encouraging, but we all need ALL of His word to grow. Every where I turn, it seems someone is unfaithful to their spouse ~ it is rampant and heart breaking and you are so right, it is a heart issue! I appreciate you!